Dear Rowley,
Doesn’t it always amuse when party planning and common sense threaten to collide? I only ask having been on La Farmer’s arm last week to attend the unveiling of an exceptional collection of jewels commissioned by Gemfields from the creme of international designers at the Phillips gallery in Victoria. Gemfields is a gemstone mining company that ethically sources emeralds and amethysts from the mines of Zambia and rubies from Mozambique.
Now bear in mind there was just shy of $3.5 million worth of coloured gemstones on show that night. You’d be advised to secure ‘the precious’ behind glass, no? Not a bit of it. When we rocked-up to Phillips the party was in full swing: a roar of voices competing with a DJ who took this as a challenge, light lower than Big Mary’s Tart Shop in Macau and jewels artfully draped over stones or around the necks of models artfully draped on podiums. I don’t think I’ve ever stole so much as a heart but those jewels did make the fingers twitch like Fagin.
Of course the gallery was surrounded by a human ring of steel murmuring into ear pieces like Brando in The Godfather so there wasn’t a cat’s chance that a jewel thief could have got his black-golved mitts on the booty. But I did applaud the apparent cavalier fashion with which the beauties were displayed. Interesting that the lion’s share of the jewellers chose to work with emeralds. I lust for emeralds, don’t you? Fabergé made a superb Maharaja’s mosaic collar of diamonds and emeralds and I adored Coomi’s chain of irregular emeralds that showed the character of these unique stones set like single panes within frames of beaten 20ct yellow gold.
The prize for most whimsical piece on show was won by Mumbai jeweller Bina Goenka’s jewelled handbag encrusted with rubies, amethysts, pearls, emeralds and tourmalines. Without the context of the Gemfields party, you’d question quite who was in the market for such an exotic accessory. But once you’d adjusted your eyesight to night vision, it was evident that a gem set handbag would come as naturally to the ladies present as a decree nisi. I think my favourite piece was London jeweller Jasmine Alexander’s 18ct yellow gold winged ring with a 3.85ct emerald set at its centre though I am a sucker for a square setting so adored Dickson Yewn’s white diamond filligree box ring set with a 4ct ruby.
While the jewellery was lit like Garland at the Palladium, the rest of the gallery was pitched black making it awfully difficult to see and be seen. Blundering around in the dark, I managed to negotiate the gallery using the spider monkey technique; leaping from around the necks of old friends like Fiona Knapp and Assia Webster from group to group. If Gemfields CEO Ian Harebottle hadn’t given a speech and introduced brand ambassador Mila Kunis I wouldn’t have known she was there. Hollywood A-listers are rather like The Borrowers: so petite they only really come across when splashed across a multiplex screen.
Apparently Mila’s beau Ashton Kutcher was on her arm that evening but one wasn’t to know until reading the papers the next day. As LA Farmer said, ‘I thought he looked familiar’. It was rather gratifying to see that Ms Kunis had chosen to wear a pair of white gold tusk earrings set with emeralds designed by the lovely Shaun Leane. I didn’t clap eyes on him until the photo call for all the jewellers. Anyway, after the festivities were over we decamped to our usual table at Ciao Bella to perform the autopsy on the evening: terrific fun but a little more light could have been shed on the subject.
What else is new on the Rialto? Last night it was the Golden Shears Awards at the Merchant Taylors’ Hall. A few moons ago I judged the Golden Shears – a tailoring competition open to all apprentices and fashion students – and was pleased we got a result when Savile Row carried the day. Came to judge Joanna Lumley, Raymond Blanc, Nick Hewer and the immortal Hilary Alexander. Came to give prizes male supermodel de nos jour David Gandy. It was rather an amusing evening but I will tell you all about it in the next missive.
Did you see the ITV doc Our Queen over the weekend? Hats off to Her Majesty for – as per – giving away absolutely nothing despite being stalked by a film crew for the best part of her Jubilee year. We learned absolutely nothing more enlightening than that The Queen is a modest, diligent, sanguine woman who never says a word out of place or indeed says very much at all. I didn’t count but there can’t have been more than 100 words spoken by The Queen on camera in over an hour and a half. Bravo Ma’am.
A marked contrast was to be read in the current issue of Hello. The Duchess of Cambridge’s wicked Uncle Gary gave an interview from the Villa Bang Bang which is, not coincidentally, on the market. Personally I couldn’t be less interested in the Mistress Middletons’ upbringing or in Uncle Gary’s sales pitch. But he did shine a light on the rather marvellous Camilla Duchess of Cornwall. At the royal wedding, he apologised for adverse press bringing embarrassment to the in-laws. The Duchess advised him not to worry about it adding that ‘she got it all the time’. Very quietly and discreetly, the Duchess of Cornwall is proving to be a solid support for the future of the monarchy.
As you know, the black smoke of indecisiveness has been billowing from the rooftops of Bloomsbury Towers of late. You’ll be relieved to hear that black has turned to white and I’m finally getting my dentures into new projects that might well take me in an entirely new direction. So I’m not quite ready to take the veil and retire from the fleshpots of London quite yet. Until next time…
